Five Jokes With Which Drew Carey Is Ruining “The Price
Is Right”
No question about it: The Price Is Right is
one of the greatest, arguably THE greatest, and most enduring game shows of all
time. A lot of this has been due to the
fun of playing along at home with the games, a lot of it has been allure of the
models over the years, but undeniably, the greatest factor was the show’s host
who will forever be directly associated with the program, Bob Barker. And a lot of good people were dismayed when
the reins were handed over to comedian and star of two retired shows on ABC,
Drew Carey.
In all fairness to Drew, Bob Barker is
irreplaceable, and Carey was a better choice than some of the other ones the
rumor mill was predicting, such as Rosie O’Donnell. It’s never fun to be the man to have to fill
a legend’s shoes, knowing you’ll always be in his shadow. Drew realizes that, even taking it as a
compliment for the first couple years, when people kept calling him “Bob.” It places you in an instant catch-twenty-two. If you try to carry the torch by imitating
the master, then you’re ridiculed for just being a copycat; if you try to add
your own twist to the job, you’re reviled for taking away from the show and not
honoring the master’s legacy. To that
end, Drew Carey’s had the good sense to bite the bullet and make the job his
own, trying to maintain a balance between the tradition and the reality that
Bob’s not coming back, which to his credit, he actually does a good job of.
One of the ways he does this is in the
jokes he makes. Bob made jokes on the
show, but as a professional comedian, Drew has a different style that makes the
job his. However, as any professional
comedian will also tell you, making your stuff translate to network TV is no
small task. Drew Carey has found this
out the hard way, and thankfully he has adjusted the jokes, and has even
stopped telling ones that were just bombing (“Ezekiel Barker” when playing the
old Barker’s Bargain Bar before that game got a makeover; joking about two completely
unrelated products going together). Here
are five more that desperately need to go:
#5: “The ol’ Price Is Right clock on the
wall”
When you hear it: before they call the
final contestant down to Contestants’ Row.
Why he does it exposition really. For those just tuning in who aren’t sure
where in the program they are. It also
calls attention to the fact that there’s one pricing game left, trying to
instill a sense of urgency in the one who’s called down and the three still
there.
Why it needs to go: for starters, there’s
no clock that we see. When he does that
joke, they cut to George Gray at the announcer’s podium, and they show a
computer image of a clock with the hands going round. Maybe I’m alone in this, but I kinda miss the
less-computerized things they did: from the giant backdrops depicting a prize
trip, which have been replaced with LCD screens; to the old lights on the
Temptation game that now show scrolling numbers. This display of a clock just irritates me
further. I’d rather they have a prop
clock with the cuckoo bird holding a sign that reads “One More Contestant!”
than see that digital display. But more
importantly, The Price Is Right is too well established as a television
institution for this joke. People who
are just tuning in know that the show is winding down by this point. We know it by heart now: three games,
showcase showdown, three more games, another showcase showdown, and the final
showcase. This joke is more of an insult
to the audience than a bit of humor.
Lastly, this joke ruins the illusion of relaxed pacing that we’ve all
enjoyed. It’s about fun, not making the
show run on time. With a few exceptions,
like urging a contestant who doesn’t know what to bid and takes awhile to
decide or the games that run on a timer, the show has always had the illusion
of a Jack Benny kind of “We get there when we get there” pace to it, even
incorporating the timer games into that pace so it never seems rushed. This joke erodes that tent pole in the
festival of fun.
#4: “One of our luckiest models!”
When you hear it: when playing a game that
involves one of the models doing something functional in the gameplay and/or
one of the games with a higher chance factor involved than other games.
Why he does it: to give the contestants
more confidence, to create and nurture an atmosphere of well-wishing that
includes not just him, but everyone, including the models.
Why it needs to stop: in all fairness, this
joke really isn’t supposed to be all that funny, so the fact that it’s not
funny really isn’t a strike against him.
What is a strike though is the execution of the joke, as quite often
he’ll engage said model in baiting banter, asking her if she’s feeling lucky. Right on cue, she says, “I feel lucky!” This is irritating because we know what
she’ll say. I mean, what else is she
gonna say? This is just unnecessary
dialogue. I’m not against having the
models speak or anything chauvinistic like that—I actually like it when Drew
pauses for a sec to ask the model what song she’s pretending to sing when the
item up for bids is a karaoke machine.
But the fake enthusiasm the model is expected to exhibit makes high
school cheerleaders look like Flavor Flav-league hype-people. And also, of all the ways luck comes into
play, the involvement on the part of the model is really the least of
them. Not to mention that there are some
people who will take that joke seriously and attempt to calculate the Model’s
Luck Coefficient. . Lastly, making the
models out to be little more than good luck charms is more objectifying than
pure chauvinism, as they’re no longer eye candy, but bracelets on the wrist.
#3: “The greatest game in the world!”
When you hear it: when they play Rat Race.
Why he does it: it’s a game that he helped
create and develop.
Why it needs to stop: for starters the game
pretty much sucks. It’s one of the most
chance-determined games they have. You
can do everything right and still end up with the least of the three possible
prizes. It’s not the most popular game;
that would be Plinko, which ironically enough is even more chance-riddled than
Rat Race. True you can win three prizes,
including a car, but you can also do that with Master Key, Ten Chances, and
even better than that with Switcheroo.
For anticipation, there have been better ways to do it than watching
wind up mechanical rats, such as watching the mountain climber ascend during
Cliff Hangers. The joke’s not funny
because it’s obvious the humor comes from his pride of ownership. Also, claiming one game as the best of all is
insinuation that there are games that aren’t fun.
#2: “Look out! Try not to collide!”
When you hear it: when the models have to
switch sides in the game Switch?
Why he does it: the thought of two models
possibly colliding seems somehow funny to him.
Why it needs to stop: where do I start with
this one? Is it the assumption that on a
2-D television screen, the viewer will forget that life happens in a
three-dimensional world? Is it the
thought that the models aren’t smart enough to walk and carry a sign at the
same time? Is it the fact that it’s a
completely unnecessary gag during the filler music that plays while they switch
places? Is it the fact that if the
contestant doesn’t wish to switch, Drew jokes about a potential crisis averted? You guessed it, all of the above. This joke is a failure on just about every
level. It was even funny the first time
he did it, it’s still not funny now.
#1: “Oh, mighty sound effects lady…”
When you hear it: when they play One Away
Why he does it: it builds anticipation and
tension, and Bob Barker did this joke, too…sort of.
Why it needs to stop: let’s start with the
fact that this takes Bob’s original bit to ridiculous proportions. Bob made the contestant ask nicely using
“Ladies” or “Gentlemen”, and say please, or say a specific phrase. And that’s fair. The sound effects people are union,
work-a-day people, and when Bob asks on their behalf that the contestant address
them politely, that’s just looking out for the little guy. By contrast, Drew makes the contestants
flat-out grovel, to the point of deifying the sound effects lady. The sound effects person does not have THAT
much control. The sound effects person
just lets you know how many numbers you got right. That’s it.
They’ve got higher-ups to answer to if they don’t do their damn
job. There’s no need to humiliate the
contestant (any further than they embarrass themselves that is). Also, it drags the game on forever. Remember the clock on the wall that tampered
with pacing by instilling a false rush?
This is the joke that drags the pace of the show down by Drew actually
slowing it down. He demonstrates how the
contestant needs to ask with slow enunciation, and as expected, the contestant
emulates the very slow beseeching of the sound effects lady’s favor. This bit is so annoying that it has wrecked
the game for me. One Away used to be one
of my favorite games on The Price Is Right, now I mute the TV when they play
the game, and sometimes change the channel, because even without sound, it’s
painful to watch. If the mighty sound
effects lady had as much control as Drew makes her out to have, she’d play some
goofy sound effects over Drew Carey’s demonstration so the rest of us could get
a genuine laugh, for a change.
