Monday, July 4, 2011

What's in a dream job?

Commercial broadcast radio.  I love it.  It's a job I look forward coming to just about everyday.  Even a weekend like this, I enjoy it.  It's an extended weekend with the holiday, and the guy who does two of the weekend overnights asked me to cover his shifts.  Works out pretty well, because one of them means 5.5 hours of holiday pay.  That's worth a few missed hours of sleep.  And after having worked 12.5 hours in a 14 hour stretch, I got asked if I could come in and do the third (second, chronologically speaking) overnight of the weekend because the guy asked for it off and my program director simply forgot to ask people if they'd be willing to fill in.  And so it fell to me.  And despite being tired as all get out (I was literally brushing my teeth before going to bed when he called, and had to make him wait a second so I could spit out the toothpaste so I could actually talk to him), I was actually happy to do it.  This job is great.  It's literally the reason I moved to Lansing in the first place.  If it wasn't for this job, I might still be living with my folks, working a job I was really hating, and probably suffering very deeply in depression.  Not to mention I probably wouldn't even have the social circle I do now, since it's almost all internet based, and my parents have dial-up since they live out in the country.  Heck, my social circle would probably be just a dot.  This place has been an absolute dream to work at.

Although lately, that dream has been taking some of those weird, inexplicable twists that usually only dreams are capable of taking.  It's starting to get aggravating and frustrating.  And not eustressful.  But not really even distressful either.  Just a lot of little things that aren't your (my) fault, but still have to be dealt with.  Mostly it's a matter of handling people.  And I don't just mean the mentally handicapped (literally in a couple cases) call-in listeners.  But that's a whole nother blog that I'll only publish when I'm sure that I'll never work in radio again.  I don't want to get into specifics, because I don't want to be thought of as the office gossip, but a combination of procrastination, free-spiritedness, difficulty learning new tricks due to being an older dog, super intensity, people getting mad at me for doing the job the way it's supposed to be done (and I don't mean that in a snooty manner, I mean actually doing the little things that we're supposed to do but are so little that others often ignore them) and a hint of territoriality spread over a number of co-workers has been feeling like a bit of a push out the door lately.  And it's sad.  I really want to be on the verge of tears from missing the place when I leave.  It takes some balancing out, too.  I mean, I've got my faults to be sure too.... anal retentivity and the preference to walk around the building with shoes off are probably my two biggest flaws, that and probably complaining and timidity.

All in all, that's what made this place a blast.  Sure we've got flaws, but what we bring to the table far outweighs those things.  But since I'm one of those guys who doesn't speak unless something's wrong, you'll probably only usually hear the negative things from me, which by the way, is also why NONE of my current co-workers are Facebook friends with me.  I don't want anything I say to be construed as me not liking my job or my co-workers.  Also because my sense of humor is generally self-deprecating a la Ray Romano or Dave Barry... I complain to be "you would NOT believe what happened today!" and expecting to get a laugh from it.  I've actually had negative reviews because my superiors didn't realize that's just what my sense of humor is like, and thought I was a real malcontent.  With this place though, nothing could be further from the truth.  I absolutely love it here.  Part of me really does not want to leave.

Kind of conflicting emotions in this post.  I'm saddened because I'll be leaving here soon.  Really scared by the fact that I haven't been able to land a radio position in the city I'll be moving to.  REALLY scared.  This is what I really want to do, and I'm not enjoying the thought that I might be closing the door on what I want so badly to be my lifelong career.  All the same, I'll be remembering the good times.  And the bad times, because I think they're funny stories... when told from a retrospective perspective.

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